she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
