I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
