he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
