How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
