did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
