i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
