Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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