my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
