Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i think my tv is drunk
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize