so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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