New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
