went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
