The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
