Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
