I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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