It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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