idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
