People in love make me want to vomit
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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