How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize