You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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