i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
