Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
