Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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