She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
