We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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