when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
