There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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