Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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