make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
