Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
