idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
