You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
