your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
