You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
