Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
