Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
