Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
