Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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