You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
