Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
