she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
