I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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