What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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