i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
