So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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