the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize