guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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