dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
