Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
there is glitter all over my balls
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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