We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
there is glitter all over my balls
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
