guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
