I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize