you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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