We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
