Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize