Do vagina's smell?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
