He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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