weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
