I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
